Radios vs Wimmen

[TA Forbes]

It took me until I was in my 50's until I realized that they (wimmen) were to my well being as what Bernie Madoff was to legitimate investing.

As I sit here thinking about my ex-wives, whose names I have grouped together in a folder labelled "plaintiff," I realized that RADIOS were a logical, sane, and by-God better for my well being replacement in my life for wimmen.

Why? Ok.... here goes:

1. RADIOS never say things you don't want to hear. If you don't like the subject, you can immediately change it to a suubject you want to hear and the radio will not complain
2. RADIOS only talk when you want them to. You can stop them when ever you are tired of listening to them.
3. RADIOS will always respond when you feel like "turning them on."
4. RADIOS are not "turned off" unless you intentionally want to do so. They are not "turned off" if you don't shave, burp at the dinner table, or commit some other percieved indescretion. If a radio is "turned off," you know exactly why and know what to do to "turn them on." (see 3 above)
5. If somehow the radio does turn itself off, you are able to logically figure out what the problem is and how to fix it so that you can once again "turn it on."
6. RADIOS are never jealous if you listen to another radio, covet your neighbors radio, or even love another radio. Radios will not "turn off" if you talk to another radio, but talking to radios might cause your friends to worry about your mental health.
7. RADIOS never leave you unless that is what you want them to do. IF a radio leaves, you know exactly why and know what you must do IF you want them back.
8. You don't mind if other men turn your RADIO on.
9. RADIOS age gracefully.
10. 75 year old RADIOS can be made to perform like a 19 year old RADIO.

Postscript: I did have a friend who ACTUALLY DISCOVERED THE SECRET OF WIMMEN! Unfortunately he died laughing before he could tell anyone........

color me finally at peace with my radio insanity

Tom

[Texasrocker]

according to the TV commercials,..... "if it lasts for over 4 hours, your supposed to call a doctor" anyways.

ol Tx.

[Music in a bottle]

That's a great one! Well done!

[Michael Dennis]

If it lasts more than 4 hours I'm calling a nurse!

Mike

[Glenn Roberts]

Was that a rim shot I heard?

[Music in a bottle]

Too much info!

[TA Forbes]

One of my ex wives used to take umbrage if I passed gas in the house. I believe in West Texas they would have described her mood as "effing-pissed off."

To be honest, I don't know when she had time to notice what I was doing, as her mouth was in overdrive from the time she woke up until when she passed out. And alcohol definitely intensified the effect. Jeez....

One day she tried using some form of logic known only to them (wimmen). "I NEVER do that in the house. (flattulence) In fact, I never do that AT ALL...... .... I don't see why you cant control yourself."

I looked sweetly at her and said "H*ll, the reason you never do that is that you never shut up long enough to build up any pressure."

Refer above to what West Texans would call her reaction to my wisdom.

Wimmen.... can't live with 'em, ....... and can't live with 'em........

[bm071]

just hit 47 and I'll take a cold beer, good steak and smooth mellow tone of my consoles over any chick!!!! (unless she's buying!)