Radios vs Wimmen

[TA Forbes]

It took me until I was in my 50's until I realized that they (wimmen) were to my well being as what Bernie Madoff was to legitimate investing.

As I sit here thinking about my ex-wives, whose names I have grouped together in a folder labelled "plaintiff," I realized that RADIOS were a logical, sane, and by-God better for my well being replacement in my life for wimmen.

Why? Ok.... here goes:

1. RADIOS never say things you don't want to hear. If you don't like the subject, you can immediately change it to a suubject you want to hear and the radio will not complain
2. RADIOS only talk when you want them to. You can stop them when ever you are tired of listening to them.
3. RADIOS will always respond when you feel like "turning them on."
4. RADIOS are not "turned off" unless you intentionally want to do so. They are not "turned off" if you don't shave, burp at the dinner table, or commit some other percieved indescretion. If a radio is "turned off," you know exactly why and know what to do to "turn them on." (see 3 above)
5. If somehow the radio does turn itself off, you are able to logically figure out what the problem is and how to fix it so that you can once again "turn it on."
6. RADIOS are never jealous if you listen to another radio, covet your neighbors radio, or even love another radio. Radios will not "turn off" if you talk to another radio, but talking to radios might cause your friends to worry about your mental health.
7. RADIOS never leave you unless that is what you want them to do. IF a radio leaves, you know exactly why and know what you must do IF you want them back.
8. You don't mind if other men turn your RADIO on.
9. RADIOS age gracefully.
10. 75 year old RADIOS can be made to perform like a 19 year old RADIO.

Postscript: I did have a friend who ACTUALLY DISCOVERED THE SECRET OF WIMMEN! Unfortunately he died laughing before he could tell anyone........

color me finally at peace with my radio insanity

Tom